4TH PATH : BRIAN FRANK STRONG

After the excitement of seeing Brian give a thumbs up and start to move more, we found out Wed AM that the doctors wanted to transfer him back to the hospital because his neurosurgeon noticed his ventricles have slightly enlarged since his cranioplasty (i.e. they suspected he's not draining properly which causes pressures to increase). They wanted him back to place an external drain and determine if he needs a shunt after all. He was transferred and admitted by Wed night (and big thank you to Jose & the other ISP trooper that showed up last minute to escort his ambulance with me during rush hour). What a rollercoaster of emotions last week brought.  Needless to say my nerves were pretty shot, experiencing the highest of  highs with signs of improvements, only to be met an out of the blue 'setback' that resulted in experiencing some ultimate lows...luckily, I was able to sit in my feelings momentarily, recharge and keep moving (thankful for the peace from God that surpas...

Yesterday, on day 99, Brian gave us a thumbs up!! He had started to spontaneously move his right hand/fingers last week. And then yesterday around 1:30pm, he was alert when his speech therapist came. She was going to work on swallowing & some visual things with him to see if there were improvements there, but then he had started to move his right hand/fingers and arm. So she grabbed his hand and asked him to squeeze and began prompting him for a thumbs up. We watched his tendons twitch and it appeared as if he was really trying to move it! His thumb twitched and slowly lifted but not all the way. But we both watched in awe at his attempts. When she left she asked me to keep working on it with him, and I was able to capture it on video! He did it! Thumb all the way up! After that I was rubbing his cheeks to help provoke some swallowing and he started to lift his hand & arm up to his face! He didn't quite complete the range up to his face but he was definitely trying to lift ...

Yesterday I took a day off and Erin spent the day with Brian. She said everything went well with his therapies. They were able to tilt him to 40 degrees on the tilt table - today they got him to 50 degrees. I was able to meet with the doctors for the first time to discuss Brian's state and their plans (Monday we will have a thorough meeting with the full team and our family) . I'll list the updates below,  and ask for these specific things to be lifted up in prayer, as my anxiety always heightens with these types of convos...but our God knows the plans He has for Brian: Brian's state of consciousness is considered 'unresponsive wakefulness,' formerly known as 'vegetative.' I haven't shared that directly before because it is really hard for me to cope with it. They would like to see him progress through the stages of consciousness, which I've mentioned before. The next state would be called "minimally conscious" and would require him to be r...

Getting into the swing of things here has kept me occupied because I can be involved more in Brian's therapies, and I can also be with him anytime between 8a - 8p, so I try and spend most of the days with him and by the time I get home, I'm pretty cashed out! But some exciting things to share: 🐶Layla has been able to join us at the hospital and spend time with her dad snuggling which has been really a blessing to both of us! She's been an absolute angel here and I am hoping Brian can feel and sense her too! Brian is on day two of having his trach capped and tolerating it really well (last week he was going about 1-2 hours at a time but now he's able to go full days without discomfort). That means pretty soon they will remove it all together which is a huge step! Brian is starting to 'explore' his voice / vocalizing. He started sighing and somewhat making sounds a few weeks back but it was rare to hear or catch it. As of yesterday, it became louder and more dra...

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Quick update - Brian and I are both getting settled into the city. It's been a busy couple of days getting into the new swing of things, getting acquainted with new schedules, people, therapies, etc. Today Erin got to visit and we also got approval to have Layla (our dog) visit! Brian gets 3-4 hours of therapy in the mornings/afternoons. Today he had 1.5hrs of physical therapy bright and early, they were able to start him on the hoist board to begin standing him up right - today he made it to a 30 degree angle! He also had his first official shower last night & they told me I am allowed to lay beside him if I ever wanted to - they encourage me to be involved & hands on and create a familiar environment for Brian. Today I was pretty tired myself, so I put The Office on and took a nap beside Brian like we would fall asleep at home...which was so nice to rest together, but also sad.  Despite my constant sadness in missing being with (conscious) Brian, this has been such a grea...

Brian is officially transferred to rehab! The transport went seamlessly, Layla got to see him and kiss him before he left & I just got the call that he had therapy at 8am and will have two more one hour sessions today. I get to go see him whenever I'm ready, so I'll be headed there this afternoon to get settled. Please pray for his medical team, therapists and specialists assigned to his case. Please continue to ask God to wake him and restore him completely. Brian was built for hard work. He is optimistic. He is joyful. I pray he wakes up prepared and determined as ever before. Thank you, Lord for your protection & healing thus far. Thank you for unimaginable strength and peace. Thank you for every person you are surrounding me with to keep going. Thank you for blessing Brian and I with a love like the love in 1 Corinthians. I pray you return the promise of our marriage & future soon! Amen! "We HOPE for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently......

A week ago today, I sat with Brian and tried something that his sister had suggested -- which is try to mold some of Brian's movements into ways he can communicate with us, if he can in fact hear us. One thing he does often, which I assume is due to some of the medications/stimulants he is on, is lift his head. It's often rhythmic. So I spent the day verbally telling him that he was lifting his head every time he did it. Eventually I started to ask him to lift it to see if he would respond...and he did! I thought, man I bet this is a coincidence - so I would watch him for long periods of time to see if he was doing it rhythmically, but he was not. So I would walk up to him, ask him to lift his head, and he continued to respond to that verbal command. I was thrilled but also in denial so I video called his parents, my parents and our friends to witness it. I recorded it on my phone too. I was elated. Even with proof, even with witnesses, by the end of the night I still convinced...

I have a lot to say today - and because my wrist physically hurts when I write, I decided to take it here to blog/journal for my own memory keeping. This entry will be long...part inspirational and hopefully part informational too. I wanted to share & list the ways that God really showed up for me yesterday. I think it's really easy to thank God for big moments and then feel like He's absent, and then feel doubt and then spiral into disbelief. For me this has been a time of spiritual warfare. Even though I can attribute many things to God's hand in all of this...like I've said before, all it takes is one scary thought to unleash my doubts & fears. But yesterday... Yesterday God answered all your prayers in giving me strength and hope for the day (thank you for praying for me - often times I want ALL of the prayers to be for Brian). I woke up to multiple messages or bible verses from folks building me up. Even a friend that subscribed me to a sleep meditation a...

Seventy seven days...77 sleeps alone. If only I could know how many more until Brian wakes. If only I could know what God has in store. I remember a time in my life years ago that I was convinced would never be for good. That I would never be same. I remember wondering what could become of my future. And then, many years later, I met Brian. And I felt like God delivered on his promise then...to give me hope & a future. Brian and I were inseparable and in love almost instantly. Despite his out-of-character love for heavy metal (if you know, you know) , we were a lot a like. The way we see the world, the way we love our friends, family, dogs, our work. The way we love adventures, pizza, simple things. Most weekends we stay home doing home-owner, "adulting" things, and every Sunday night, when the 'sunday scaries' sunk in, we would hold each other and thank each other for the quality time. For whatever reason, he always forgot that he needed coffee creamer at 8pm o...