May 4th - 5th - Day 78 & 79
I have a lot to say today - and because my wrist physically hurts when I write, I decided to take it here to blog/journal for my own memory keeping. This entry will be long...part inspirational and hopefully part informational too.
I wanted to share & list the ways that God really showed up for me yesterday. I think it's really easy to thank God for big moments and then feel like He's absent, and then feel doubt and then spiral into disbelief. For me this has been a time of spiritual warfare. Even though I can attribute many things to God's hand in all of this...like I've said before, all it takes is one scary thought to unleash my doubts & fears.
But yesterday...
Yesterday God answered all your prayers in giving me strength and hope for the day (thank you for praying for me - often times I want ALL of the prayers to be for Brian). I woke up to multiple messages or bible verses from folks building me up. Even a friend that subscribed me to a sleep meditation app (Abide...and this part of the story is relevant later). I laid in bed and contemplated if I was going to visit or take a day off. I decided to pull myself up & go see my guy.
Looking back at the past couple of weeks, aside from the infection, Brian's been pretty calm/stable and so I haven't really journaled much. I went into the day not anticipating any real changes. To my surprise, God chose yesterday to shower me with encouragement - something I very much needed as we anticipate his recovery in rehab. I think bullet points might help consolidate the series of events that took place upon my arrival:
- I walked in Brian's room, and he was just laying there wiggling his toes! I was able to capture it on video! Unprompted toe wiggles always make me smile - any spontaneous body movement feels exciting to me.
- A few minutes later, our favorite respiratory nurse (George), was assigned to him and he came to the room to say hi! We haven't seen him since March & he's always the most positive and sweet. He was really excited to see how far Brian has come.
- Then - Brian's OT showed up. She normally comes in the mornings, so I've never gotten to see the therapists work 1:1 with Brian. She told me she wanted to try and catch me so she could show me what she does. I was SO impressed, not only with her, but with Brian! I only ever see him in the afternoon, lying in bed, when he is likely tired from 'working out' - but to see him sitting up, alert (eyes opened), holding up his own head, and having strong responses to multiple kinds of stimulus was everything I needed to get hyped for his rigorous rehab ahead. The OT he has is also just a gem and we connected and she made me feel so encouraged and educated. Really something I didn't know I needed. What a blessing that I got to meet her & experience that! It helped my worries dissipate significantly.
- Throughout his OT session, MULTIPLE nurses that have come to know Brian over time stopped in the room to say "Go Brian!" or just watch, say hi to me and give me a thumbs up. Even the chaplain, who I had never met before, randomly stopped in to say "Looking good, Trooper Frank!" He told me he comes to pray with Brian every morning. At this point I'm thinking to myself "Seriously!? Brian's popular, even while unconscious?!" Ha! But joking aside, my heart was so full seeing the staff cheering him on. Most days it's just me & Brian alone, with 1-2 nurses checking on him every 2-4hrs, so it was an eventful, energetic change of pace.
- He also was very stable in all ways and his white blood cell count is back to normal, so we were told that his transfer has been scheduled for Monday, barring no other setbacks.
- I then found out the visiting restrictions at the current hospital are now allowing for 2 guests to come together & 4 guests to come on Mother's day - which means that Brian's mom & dad can come and my mom can see him on Sunday before he transfers! Timing wise, this is such a gift!
- This verse found its way to me twice: "You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice a glorious, inexpressible joy." -1 Peter 1:8
- The trooper that picked me up to drive me home was playing Elevation worship music when I got in. Most of the time the troopers don't have the radio on, so the music stood out to me. This felt like a gentle reminder that God was really present in this day. I almost laughed because I had this visual in my head of God holding a nerf machine gun saying "OH you don't believe I'm here yet?! Okay then!! HERE YA GO!" and just pelting me in the most obvious ways, all day long, LOL.
- At this point, I'm thinking wow what a day, this is the icing on the cake - but there was a cherry on top!:
- Last week a dear friend sent me something late at night because she said God had been pressing on her heart to share it with me. The way she wrote it was beautifully portrayed and resonated so deeply with me:
- Before I fell asleep last night, I decided to try out that Abide meditation app I mentioned earlier, and I clicked on "sleep." You can then choose a mediation or select random. I chose random. It was titled "Hope for the Hopeless" ...and the first mediation was from 1 Kings, about Elijah at the Brook, Cherith. π❗
- Dear God, way maker, please make a way for Brian to wake up and emerge to full consciousness. Please give him a chance to fight for his full recovery. Please let his voice & laugh sound the same, let his vocal chords be unharmed. Let him be able to talk. Please let his physical abilities return to him fully, so he can enjoy the activities in life that bring him joy (golfing, bowling, fishing, running, hiking, walking the dog, snowboarding...). Return his vision, hearing & give him his memories and discernment. Lord, let him be independent. Return him to the man he would recognize in the mirror. Return him to the Brian that we all know & love. Give me the patience & strength to help him and have unwavering trust (1 Peter 1:8) in you & your ability to perform these miracles. You promised us love, hope & a future. Please grant us more than we can imagine with the outcome of this circumstance. Heal Brian completely. Let this new phase be exactly what he needs. Thank you for your constant, unresting presence and for a day of encouragement! Go before us, bless the hands & minds of his next medical team & let his transfer be safe and seamless. We ask these things in Jesus' name, Amen!
In Jesus name, Amen! Amen girl!
ReplyDeleteYou needed a day like yesterday, and I’m so glad you got it! ❤️❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteAMEN! ❤️
ReplyDeleteCome on Brian! Your wife is waiting to feel your arms wrapped around her! We are so optimistic about the coming weeks! Can’t wait to see Brian’s super powers!
ReplyDeleteI don't know you guys - but I am a highschool friend of Tara Dooley. I am praying super hard for y'all from Indy! Prayer is powerful! God will bring you both through!
ReplyDeleteThis made me cry with happiness for you and Brian! And so exciting to read about his progress. Xoxoxo Joanna
ReplyDeleteThank you for the great news. Praying for you both daily ππΌ
ReplyDeleteAMEN!
ReplyDeleteYes! amen to that!
ReplyDeleteThank you for this uplifting update!!! We will continue our prayers. God is GREAT and watching over Brian and you. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAmen! Praise to God! Praying dailey gor you and Brianπππ
ReplyDeleteAmen Matthew 18:18-20, Jesus tells us about the power of prayer when he said, “Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. And, Again, I tell you truly that if two of you on the earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by My Father in heaven. 20For where two or three gather together in My name, there am I with them. I am believing with you. I am praying with you and for you. I am standing in faith.
ReplyDeleteI am crying tears of joy for these days you had. I am so happy Brian was responsive and God showed up for you in so many ways. He’s reminding you that He is still working and keeping Brian safe through all of this. Prayers that you continue to have good days like this among the hard ones. You got this!!!! π
ReplyDeleteOverjoyed with you❤️
ReplyDeleteGo Brian Go!
Our prayers are heard and answers are being revealed❤️π❤️
Thank you for the update. AMEN ππππ
ReplyDeletePraying every day!! Thank you for the update.
ReplyDeleteOverjoyed for you and the family. I feel so strongly that Brian will be a shining example of Christ's Mercy and Miraculous powers. While we don't know you, I imagine a time joining a grand celebration of Brian's recovery. Your writing is beautiful and your experiences demonstrate how close Jesus is walking with you!
ReplyDeleteHad tears running down my face as I read this!!! ❤❤❤ππ keep it up Brian! You got thisππ
ReplyDeleteLauren I'm one of the legions you've never met but are riding this roller coaster along with you. Keep the faith girl, you're moving mountains! Those toe wiggles are the best news yet. Thank you for keeping us, even us strangers, up to date as you progress along this 4th Path.
ReplyDeleteThank you Lord, Thank you God, Thank you Jesus ����
ReplyDeleteThank you Lord, Thank you God, Thank you Jesus ππ
ReplyDeleteVery glad to hear about the glorious day of revelations for you, and your uplifted spirit because of it. God has big plans for you both. You got this Brian!
ReplyDeleteSounds like a great day and much needed. It also sounds like our trooper is getting ready for some more rehab!!! #frankstrong
ReplyDeletePrayers!
ReplyDeleteWow...God was just enveloping you in his love! And thank you for explaining the coming to consciousness. I was confused by his open eyes but also very grateful for it! We are with you Lauren!!
ReplyDeleteAll In faith - there are no coincidences. Still praying for you and Brian! Stay strong! Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey.
ReplyDeleteAmen and praise be to God! I ask you Lord, to wake Brian and give him the abilities he had prior to his accident! Awaken Brian to see his beautiful wife's smile! We ask this in Jesus name. AMEN
ReplyDeleteI don't know you personally, but I came across your story via social media and have been following along ever since. Your relationship reminds me so much of my own with my husband and my heart breaks into two thinking of you going this long without his arms around you. God showed up for you BIG time this day and I'm so happy to hear of the positive updates on Brian! I will continue to pray for you both fervently. Sending love from PA <3
ReplyDeleteYou and Brian are in my prayers. God is so good.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work.