May 14th - Day 88

Quick update - Brian and I are both getting settled into the city. It's been a busy couple of days getting into the new swing of things, getting acquainted with new schedules, people, therapies, etc. Today Erin got to visit and we also got approval to have Layla (our dog) visit!

Brian gets 3-4 hours of therapy in the mornings/afternoons. Today he had 1.5hrs of physical therapy bright and early, they were able to start him on the hoist board to begin standing him up right - today he made it to a 30 degree angle! He also had his first official shower last night & they told me I am allowed to lay beside him if I ever wanted to - they encourage me to be involved & hands on and create a familiar environment for Brian. Today I was pretty tired myself, so I put The Office on and took a nap beside Brian like we would fall asleep at home...which was so nice to rest together, but also sad. 

Despite my constant sadness in missing being with (conscious) Brian, this has been such a great change of pace for him. He's active and being tended to, he's being dressed in his own clothing, he's sitting upright in a wheel chair, he's clean and smells good! The biggest change of all is that he is not hooked up to anything anymore! i.e. he has his g-tube (feeding tube), but he is no longer on oxygen (his trach just has a filter on it), no IVs and no catheter! Next week they will start to cap his trach to make sure he can tolerate without it, and if all goes well, they'll remove it and stitch it up! 

He still has not regained consciousness, but it's been really interesting to see how activity alone has resulted in small changes (the nurses remind me that the small things are big things, which is always an encouraging reminder). For example, he no longer clenches his left hand, he stretches out his fingers and today I saw him spontaneously moving his fingers around. He also started moving his legs a lot more (pulling in his knees in response to stimulus, or if he's waking up he appears to do a full body stretch or even kick/pulse his leg). Yesterday during his speech session, he was moaning/groaning his vocal chords, exploring his voice! Another exciting new thing (that also feels sad simultaneously...which I think is going to be how these progressions feel for a while). He does not localize his eyes to sound but he is reactive with blinking to loud sounds and mildly tracks his eyes to the direction of sound but is currently inconsistent. But baby steps! 

Being with Brian for me is kind of like watching grass grow, so sometimes I like to write out all these new things so that I can look back and remember that just 2 weeks ago, I was stoked if he wiggled his toe spontaneously. And now I can HEAR his voice, see his arm & legs move spontaneously and watch his eye opening & tracking progress. I keep reminding myself that even if these things feel slow or minor, they're all still forward moving! This week was very much about assessing him and next week they'll kick off a formal treatment plan. I also requested they put him on a feeding formula that is all-natural food ingredients and they agreed to begin that next week (hooray)! Big believer in the importance of clean nutrition!

Always feel free to comment questions or message me if anything is unclear. I'll do my best to keep you updated in detail to the best of my ability! 

Brief side story - on my walk back to where I'm staying nearby the hospital, I passed a Stan's Donuts (most of you know Brian is a big fan. He always asks if we can go to Stan's after doctor's appointments). When I saw the big pink sign, I sobbed...in public...thank goodness for face masks and baseball hats. I immediately started to pray and asked God to comfort me and give me a sign so I could just get "home." In that exact moment, one of those silly Slingshot cars drove past me with their speakers BLARING and the song playing was "I said don't worry, about a thing....every little thing, is gonna be alright." I actually smiled to myself and laughed because the volume was atrocious, but I took that as my literal LOUD and clear sign to keep trusting Him.

"...because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their prayers, because they trusted in him."
-1 Chronicles 5:20b

Lord, thank you for this new chapter. Thank you for graciously showing me small signs & loud signs! Thank you for encouraging staff that advocate for us and educate me! Thank you for making a way for Layla to visit! And I pray again tonight for you to heal Brian completely. To keep him in your rest & comfort until he is ready to return to consciousness. Please make a way for his full & complete recovery to be possible so he & WE can return to his "big awesome life." Lord, use us, use this circumstance, to be a testimony to your miracles. Please have favor on us and give us hope & a fruitful, meaningful future. I ask these things in Jesus' name. Amen!