Early October Update

I haven't updated because September was a whirlwind in so many ways. And I truly just wanted a moment to stop feeling like we are in a fish bowl and be take the time to be more in tune with myself and present with Brian.

With our 3 year anniversary coming and going on 9/22, I was very much just trying to get 'through' it. Celebrating solo was hard. Best friends and family made it easier for sure, but anniversaries are special because they belong to the 2 people involved. And my other half is still unable to consciously be present with me. Quite a different anniversary than we had dreamed up or celebrated before. 

But anyway - here's overall how the month went:

After we got back into the brain injury unit at Shirley Ryan, they gave us a discharge date of 9/21. At that point, we had only been accepted into one long term care facility in Illinois, which was in Arlington Heights. It was (and is) a great option as they are newly renovated and just received a grant to do brain injury rehab. I connected with another woman there with her husband that have had a similar journey and was prepared to bring him there. As I prayed and thought it over more, I just kept feeling a pull to try and get him laterally transferred to a facility in Wheaton, so that I could maybe...just maybe, move back home with my family and not have to get another apartment in the northern burbs. I also knew if I could get him in, Brian would have a chance to easily see his neurosurgeons and doctors at Good Sam (his original trauma hospital) if needed which is always comforting to know that he could go see the care team that knows his case from day one.

The Wheaton facility had already told us no 3x. But I thought MAYBE if I could just talk to the right person and show them some videos of Brian's progress, they might reconsider. I had just obtained access to Brian's MyChart and started to realize that clinical notes don't always do justice for what you can observe. Thanks to Covid, facilities base their decisions solely on clinical notes. So I gave it one last ditch effort and was able to tap our network and connect with a doctor that was willing to take a look and hear Brian's story. He had some connections to the facility and said he would make some calls to see if they would reconsider his case. Obviously there was no guarantee, but it never hurts to ask. I spoke to him on Saturday 9/11 and by Monday 9/13, they said YES and approved his admission! I opted for immediate discharge, because I was eager to get home and out of the city, and we were discharged and relocated by Thursday!

So, we have been settled in for about 3 weeks now and Brian's been noticeably different. All baby step progress, but he's been the most stable yet. His bradycardia (low HR) and low temps haven't seemed to be issues as of late. We got to take him outside for the first time all year (and we even got a smile out of him when we did)! If you catch him in the right window of alertness, we can get consistent thumbs ups! His speech path asked him to wave goodbye to her and we both saw him try to do that and were jaw dropped! He's making sounds more often, moans when he is uncomfortable, and tried to remove his own diaper a few times, so I think we are in the early stages of him attempting to communicate things, so we remain hopeful and anticipatory of more developments. Patience is a freakin' virtue...

We did have a non-emergency visit back to Good Sam to get a CT scan and everything looks good & normal. No issues with the shunt or anything else. Can I just say how NICE it is to go to Good Sam vs Northwestern?! As soon as we got there, people remembered us and were so kind. It was such a relief to be back to what otherwise could have been very triggering. Thankful for the staff there that treats us, truly, like family.

On the non-medical side of things, I have some other exciting news to share! Yesterday I attended the Illinois State Police 2020 Awards Ceremony on Brian's behalf. I knew I would be accepting a Purple Heart for him, but he also received a Lifesaving Award medal for saving a woman's life (she had overdosed) in March of 2020, a Director's Award of Distinction, a Medal for Honor, and last but certainly not least, the Trooper of the Year Award (Meritorious Service Medal) -- which was a surprise, and the last award announced. Colonel McGreal, who has become so dear to us during this journey, announced it, which was even more special. Aside from the Purple Heart, every award he's received this year was for his service in 2020, during the pandemic, which makes it far more impressive given the restrictions las year. It speaks to Brian's commitment to the job... to the service and sacrifice he makes to the citizens of Illinois. I couldn't be more proud or honored to know Brian,  let alone be his wife. There aren't words to express my emotions about yesterday because Brian deserves to walk the stage and shake the hands of upper command as they acknowledge his efforts. So I pray for the day that he can. I pray for the day he can understand all this and receive this hard earned recognition for himself. There's no one like him.

Days like yesterday stir up all of my emotions. Joy, pride, heart ache. Even anger. Someone senselessly hit Brian and robbed him of celebrating what would have been the best year of his career. But not only that, robbed him of his independence entirely, with no promise of returning to his old self. I've said it before, we hold out with high hopes, but the limbo and waiting and patience is hard and weighs heavy on the many people that love Brian. Trooper of the Year...not awarded because of his current circumstance...awarded because he EARNED this in 2020. And he doesn't even know. I was humbled to walk the stage behind the selfless men and women of the State Police to accept these on his behalf, but I'd be remiss to say I felt inadequate to do so. These men and women are elite in their dedication and service. Brian exemplifies what ISP stands for entirely. It's tough to not be angry, having driven past the crash site to and from Springfield just wondering...why?

But mostly I am proud. And keeping my eyes upward and forward.

It's October now, Brian's birthday month. Rather than continue to dump out all of my feelings, I thought I would share some upcoming efforts to support Brian as we approach his 33rd birthday. Please feel free to join or share!

• Got Your 6 Foundation: Trooper Frank Recovery Fund: Happy Birthday Brian Pt1
• https://gofund.me/485851b9
• More info can be found on GY6's Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/Got-Your-6-Foundation-523438964447818

• Got Your 6 Foundation: Blue & Brew
• Join us to celebrate the lives and service of Illinois State Troopers Christopher Lambert and Jerry Ellis.
• When: November 13, 2021 - 5pm-9pm (Brewery is open until 1am)
• Where: One Allegiance Brewery: 10215 S. Harlem Ave. Bridgeview, Il
• Funds raised will benefit the GY6 Trooper Brian Frank Recovery Fund
• Tickets can be purchased here: https://got-your-6-foundation.myshopify.com/

• Weekly Sunday Evening Virtual Prayer Call Link, 6pm CST
• https://us02web.zoom.us/j/88408700881?pwd=cUhkdmlVVmUxVzFhNVl1Rlo1aVJFUT09

Thank you to everyone for your support. Not one message, hug, text, comment, gift, donation, FB post, card, keepsake, call, prayer goes unnoticed...not even the mini cans of coke that the sweetest nurse sneaks me or the costco sized box of gummies my friend stocked me with, ha! Anyone that knows me well knows it's really HARD for me to not respond or thank everyone properly, so just know I notice, care, and couldn't face this tragedy without the endless amount of outreach, love, and support that is shown to us daily - even 8 months later. Brian I'm sure will be thankful to learn of how everyone looked after me while he couldn't.

All in all, being back in the suburbs has been a blessing and huge relief for us both. We feel very loved in the new facility and we continue to take one day at a time. Thanking God that he has made a way for us to be where we are now. Stay tuned & let's keep praying for Brian's emergence and full recovery!