July 1st - Day 136

I don't even know what to say.  I have been dreading July.

July is our favorite month. The 4th is our favorite holiday. It's full of birthdays, including my own. It's the month we would be going up to Hayward to fish. This year was going to be our first year with the camper and our dog up there. In May I told our family that I just wanted him to emerge before my birthday. And there's still time for that to be so. 

But waking up on July 1st was rough. I never thought we would still be in this situation. But I still have hope. He is still showing us improvements, even if they're small, week over week. And I'm doing everything in my power to figure out the road ahead (which is much more intense, scary, challenging and labor intensive than any wife or family member should ever have to endure on top of the heartache).

I know everyone is itching for updates, so while I have a few free moments, here are the highlights:

• Opened mouth on command 2x in OT this week
• Overall, Brian is relaxing his jaw and mouth a lot more. Speech was able to get a spoon on his tongue 6x yesterday, which was a first EVER! He also smirked a few times spontaneously so it seems he's feeling out his facial muscles and mouth more!
• Sneezed 3x this week! I haven't seen a sneeze at all ever since his accident!
• Visual tracking is continuing to improve. Eyes appear to be very centered & blinking is more 'regular.' His startle/threat response is very sensitive which is great too!
• His partner brought the K9 dog (Mac) that he usually works with for some more dog therapy with a familiar furry friend.
• Tolerating standing positions well
• Delayed decanulation (trach removal) due to some air trapping (aka unsafe to remove so he has an ENT scope to evaluate what might be causing this).
• OT also had him hold a fishing pole. He successfully gripped the handle 3x and pushed the reel with his thumb 3x.
• Another OT played guitar for him (Blink 182 songs) and had him strum the strings. He briefly held the guitar pick and vocalized during the session.
• Tone in his arms & neck has improved but fluctuates day-to-day. He definitely has an increase of movement in his arms and fingers. It's hard to tease out what is command follow with thumbs up or arm movements because he is wiggling around almost all day.
• When I give him a head rub/tickle, he hums slightly. He also seems to engage and focus on me when I talk to him during times when he is alert.
• He almost never needs to be suctioned & I almost never see him posture anymore. His pain responses are more localized now.
• Discharge has been extended to end of July.
• Ambien drug trial is tomorrow (5% of TBI patients have a paradoxal / opposite affect to this drug so they are going to try it with Brian. Pray he's within that 5%!)

I think that's the gist of it! Please pray for his emergence this month. July is going to be, by far, the most difficult for me. But I am excited and eager to see more progress with each new day.

"For all the promise of God find their Yes in him. That is why through him we utter our Amen to God for his Glory." - 2 Corinthians 1:20

"Therefore, having this ministry by the mercy of God, we do not lose heart." - 2 Corinthians 4:1

"So we do not lose heart...For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." - 2 Corinthian 4:16

"So death is at work in us, but life in you." - 2 Corinthians 4:12

Praying new life over my sweet husband, my greatest joy and best friend in this world. Lord, heal Brian & restore him completely. Emerge and awaken him before my birthday. Amen.