Weekend Update - Day 41
I know I went quiet on here since Friday, so apologies for no news. To be honest, I started feeling pretty tired on Friday and had a pretty hard day, personally, on Saturday.
Brian is still doing well & stable. The Dr called me yesterday morning to report that the CT scan did show a reduction in swelling, but also how that revealed to them the 'severe' damage to Brian's brain more clearly. The up side is - this is not new information. There are no new injuries, no new swelling, and no blood present - so overall, our specific prayers were answered here!
Saturday Brian was very restful, he didn't open his eyes much for me. Today he was more 'alert' and was pretty wide eyed when I arrived & I heard his vocal chords vibrating a little more today. Otherwise, it was a quiet weekend & I think Brian's brain and body are resting and healing!
Yesterday, my heavy heart and tears were seemingly uncontrollable and inconsolable. It took everything in me to face this reality, for the 40th day. I simply miss Brian. I prayed so hard yesterday for strength and all I could do was weep. And I know I need to have those days. I miss and ache for Brian in such a deep way, so while I prayed, I asked God for this one nurse to be working (she's a true angel that we met in the first week at the LTAC that was so encouraging & reminded me/us to trust God - she took time to tell me she prays for Brian... but I haven't seen her since). She was not assigned to Brian yesterday, but after being there an hour, she randomly walked into the room with another nurse and I started sobbing. She shut the door and immediately began to pray with & for us. And I felt Brian slightly squeeze my hand during that time. I couldn't believe I not only saw her that day, but that she offered up sincere prayers with me during my lowest moment.
When she left, I looked outside the window to see my family, friends, and the ISP family had showed up to stand with us in support & prayer. It was a moment that brought me to my knees. I've felt the love and support from everyone since day one, and am so grateful & blessed. To physically see everyone standing with us on a day that I felt like standing wasn't possible, meant the world to me. It reminded me that we're not and never will be alone. That God is with us and has us covered. We are so lucky to have a strong army behind us. Thank you to ALL of you, near & far, covering us in prayer & asking God to heal Brian, and for considering me, our families, and friends in your prayers too.
If I could list out the amount of kind things people send and share with me daily, surely you would be scrolling for too long to keep up. I'm so grateful for the people & the goodness God has provided amidst the hardest days of our lives. I say 'our' because Brian is my husband, but he's a son, a brother, a son-in-law, a dog dad, a best friend, a co-worker, a friendly neighbor - and I recognize that while I hurt, we are all hurting together. I am fighting alongside him on all of our behalf, because I know the line of people that would be outside his room if that were allowed. Thank you for all your love & support, it fuels me and it will lead Brian to his recovery!
In the days ahead, please pray for everything to line up perfectly for his transfer to rehab. I am praying that it will all happen seamlessly, in perfect timing. That the swelling in his brain will be reduced in a way that will allow new stimulation methods to be effective! That his vitals & functions continue to be stable. And that God heals & wakes Brian up when he is ready (and let it be soon)!
🙏🙏🙏🌿💗
ReplyDeleteLauren, don't ever feel the need to apologize for not posting. We of course are checking everyday but when you didn't post I knew you needed time for your self. I don't believe you and I have ever met. I'm a friend of Debs. I wanted to be at your wedding, but I had a conflict. Despite never meeting you, I feel as though I do know you and you are one of the strongest woman I know. To continue that strength, sometimes you just have to let yourself be weak and rely on others. I am so happy they were there for you when you needed them. God does work in mysterious ways. Your faith is so inspiring and when I read through the tears I just want to reach out and hug you. I continue to pray all the specific prayers you mention and I also pray that someday very soon, Brian, himself, will be giving you the hug, I so desire you give you right now.
ReplyDeleteLauren, we have been thinking of you and praying for Brian since we heard this terrible news. You and your husband are in our thoughts constantly.
ReplyDelete~Chris and Ron Jaegle
Thank you so much, it is so great to hear from you both its been a long time. Appreciate your prayers!!
DeleteOur prayers will always be with you and Brian
ReplyDeleteLauren my heart and prayers are with you! I pray for you just as hard as I do your husband. Tears are stress being released so release it 💙 you are truly amazing and inspiring! I also pray for your pup who’s missing Brian, his family, his blue family, and all his friends. I believe GOD hears you and everyone, but especially you because you thank him too💙. I thank him when I pray for all the miracles he is working on Brain and all those who Brain and you are impacting with your journey💙. Sending you huge hugs and warm light! I wish I had some magical healing words to say that would bring you comfort at this moment or easy the heaviness you are feeling , so I pray hard for you all and keep candles going and will do so until Brain is back home with you💙. 🙏🏼🕯💙💙💙
ReplyDeleteKeeping Brian, you and your family in my prayers. Hugs to you...stay strong!
ReplyDeleteLauren, I admire you so much, and it’s ok to have a bad day you’re human.You are extremely strong young women. Your devotion to your husband is truly inspiring. I think of you and Brian everyday. There is an army of people some you know and some of us you don’t but regardless we all have your back.. Continuing to ask God to watch over you and Brian.
ReplyDeletePraying for you both every day! Good things will surely come! Let us know if there is anything at all we can do to help!
ReplyDeleteLauren, let your self feel whatever it is at the time, he understands ur human. You have every right to feel everything there is. Just know we will always pray for you both always. And thank you so much for the updates. To b by e honest I do t know you and only seen your husband a few times , and my husband knows brain. But I worry about you both and think about you both and send prayers always. God bless you young lady
ReplyDeleteI continue to pray for Brian and for your entire family every day. I have seen miracles in the past and am expectant that the Lord will perform a miracle for Brian. May His healing touch continue to be with Brian. 💕. Lynn Rivenburg Weeks
ReplyDeleteLauren, your faith is truly amazing and is such an inspiration. We are praying for you and Brian daily.
ReplyDeleteI am thankful for the nurse who was there for you. God knew who to send at the perfect time. God is working in and through all of this.
ReplyDelete